China’s Onion Diplomacy Sparks Chaos and Tears

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HULHUMALE’ PHASE TWO—The Maldives witnessed an unexpected spectacle this week as droves of residents queued up for hours near the Hiyaa ward in Hulhumale’ Phase Two, all in pursuit of a rather unusual treasure: onions.

As the onion frenzy continues in the Maldives, it’s worth noting that the island nation’s onion consumption surpasses that of both major onion-producing giants, India and China. This culinary passion isn’t merely a statistic—it’s a way of life.

In the Maldives, onions aren’t just an ingredient; they’re the very essence of savory cuisine. From fragrant curries to mouthwatering snacks, no dish is complete without the aromatic addition of onions. But the Maldivian love affair with onions doesn’t stop there.

Unlike any other country, the Maldives uniquely incorporates onions into sweet delicacies. Take, for instance, the beloved foni boakibaa—a traditional sweet cake infused and decorated with glazed onions. It’s a testament to the islanders’ ingenuity in blending flavors to create culinary delights that tantalize the taste buds.

And let’s not forget Suji, the popular dense drink enjoyed during Ramadan nights. This creamy concoction, reminiscent of a thick shake, owes its distinctive flavor to—you guessed it—onions. It’s a surprising twist that adds depth and richness to an already indulgent treat, proving that onions truly have a place in every aspect of Maldivian cuisine.

As the queues continue to form and people pray for the health and wellbeing of President Xi and China Ambassador Madam for her kindness, the onions disappear by the sacks, one thing is clear: in the Maldives, onions aren’t just a commodity; they’re a symbol of cultural identity and culinary creativity.

In a surprising move, China, one of the world’s leading producers of onions, decided to donate a massive shipment of the pungent bulbs to the Maldives. This act of generosity, described as “China Onion Diplomacy,” while well-intentioned, has set off a media firestorm and prompted an outpouring of public excitement rarely seen for anything short of a Shah Rukh Khan sighting or a new free meal restaurant opening.

Did you know that Maldivians consume more onions than the onion-producing countries? According to FAOSTAT, the average Maldivian consumed 21.3 kg of onions per year. Onions, it seems, are as essential to Maldivian cuisine as the islands are to Instagram influencers. Historically, Maldivian onion consumption hit an all-time high of 26.7 kg per capita in 2016, only God knows why, underscoring the nation’s deep-rooted love affair with the vegetable.

The scene at Hulhumale’ Phase Two resembled that of a blockbuster movie premiere, with locals braving the sweltering heat in orderly queues. “This is better than Eid sale,” remarked one young enthusiastic resident, clutching a red bag of the coveted onions. “I haven’t seen this many people excited for onion since the announcement of application for Hiyaa flats during Yameen!”

Chinese officials must be pleased at the sight and with the outcome of their donation. “We are delighted to support our Maldivian friends with this gift,” might say a representative from the Chinese embassy. Onions are a vital part of Dhivehi diet, and they must be happy to contribute to this culinary joy of ours.

India, which traditionally supplies the Maldives with onions, will be bemused and may exhibit a strategic silence. Wonder will they be planning a counter-move involving a significant shipment of spicy masalas and lentils!

Surely those of Hiyaa residents who got the bounty might be in tears, as the powerful aroma of fresh onions wafts through the air in their apartments.

Like the layers of onion peelings, news headlines were screaming of economic woes. One headline reads… Tourist arrival all-time low… and police arrests two in hostage-taking case, a Maldivian who stole a bag of coconut arrested by police, all new items from Dhenme online would make one’s eyes tear like an onion-themed souvenir.

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